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Divisiveness in Babywise and GKGW

Critics say Ezzo's presentation in Babywise and Growing Kids God's Way can cause divisions in churches, friendships and families.

Summary of Concerns

  • False picture of choices. Babywise and GKGW present a false choice between a method which produces ease for parents and obedient, godly, respectful children, or a descent into family "chaos" and disobedient, ungodly offspring. Evidence is missing to prove the outcomes aside from the comparison of two imaginary children, one who flourishes because her parents wisely chose the Ezzos' material, while the other grows up to be a selfish person since her parents didn't.  The false dilemma sows misunderstanding and disrespect between parents.

  • Insults parents who don't follow his teachings. Ezzo claims that those who don't follow his methods are "in their thinking, [only] Christian up to a point," naive, frequently fail to notice when their babies are sick, respond to their babies' cries without rational consideration, and become pushovers whose children can't accept delayed gratification, are unruly and academically disadvantaged.

  • Insults health care professionals. Babywise teaches parents that health care providers who don't support the book's methods are not up-to-date enough to grasp Babywise's breastfeeding benefits, or else are biased by their professional training (2001, p. 100).

  • Rhetoric that plays on fear, shame and guilt. The material plays on fears of unmanageable children, shaming parents for not seeking "God's way," and creating guilt when parents face challenges most would recognize as normal stages of child development and parenting. As followers reflect these messages to their friends and church community, it alienates them.

  • Double messages and shifting definitions make for confusion over the basic principles and how they are intended to be implemented. These double messages make it possible to refute any criticism simply by quoting whichever side of the double message will serve the purpose. Communication that might resolve divisions comes to a stand-off.

  • An us/them world. The false choices mentioned above are sometimes taken to a higher level where one is either an insider who is safely part of the "GFI community" or an ignorant, distrusted outsider.

  • Questioning the information is not encouraged. To disagree with or openly question Ezzo's material arouses suspicion that one is disloyal and not properly committed to "God's way" of parenting. Class leaders are told not to allow open disagreement with what is taught during class time. This leaves participants who have questions isolated and prevents peers from hearing their concerns about the material.

Essential Reading:

"Growing Kids God's Way?: A Critique of Growing Families International"
by Dr. Barbara Francis

"More Than A Parenting Ministry" | PDF version
by Kathleen Terner and Elliott Miller, Christian Research Journal, Christian Research Institute

On Becoming Childwise: A Critique
by Laurie Moody

Conflicting Messages--A Review of Babywise 2001
by Kathy Thile

It's One or the Other--And Other Myths that Hooked Us
A Parent's Insights

For Further Information:

More Critiques, Reviews and Analyses

Authors' Qualifications

Critics have raised concerns about the Ezzos' lack of professional qualifications and patterns of behavior former associates say should disqualify the Ezzos from public ministry. 

Moreover, Anne Marie and Gary Ezzo have been estranged from both of their adult children for the last decade.  Thus, the Ezzos lack pertinent professional AND personal qualifications for directing other parents.

Summary of Concerns

  • The Ezzos claim to be professionals, but have little or no professional accreditation or accountability.  Nevertheless, Babywise claims that its plan sets "a new course for behavioral pediatrics," and brings "a major paradigm shift" to a health care specialty, the specialty of breastfeeding management.  The Ezzos dismiss the professional warnings about their recommendations as merely the product of professional jealousy or bias.

  • Lack of academic ethics. Ezzo pursues a scholarly approach to his subject, but frequently misdefines terms and misrepresents the views of others.  Footnotes and quotations in the texts often fail to support Ezzo's points when their context is examined. The Ezzos tout private, unpublished research and contrast the experience of imaginary children to prove the safety and efficacy of their method.  Their books are self-published so there is no editorial oversight to correct these problems.

  • Divisive behavior. Ezzo is currently excommunicated from an evangelical Christian church in California and has been subject to church discipline processes in two other churches in which he held leadership positions. The leaders of all three cited patterns of behavior including divisiveness, untruthfulness, and the spread of malicious gossip in retaliation for attempts to hold him accountable. Two of his former pastors have stated their belief that Ezzo is unfit for public ministry.

  • Denigrating those who disagree. Ezzo has attacked, denigrated and spread malicious and false gossip about parents, reporters, medical professionals and others who dare to disagree with and/or criticize his material.

  • Untruthfulness. He has been caught in lies about a wide variety of things, including claiming, in writing, a degree he never earned, emailing slanderous statements about his former church while portraying his departure from it as quiet and gracious, and plagiarism.

  • His family does not reflect the promises in his books.   The Ezzos contend that when parents implement their methods with young children, their reward will be friendship with their adult children.  But Anne Marie and Gary Ezzo have been estranged from their children for the past decade.  

Essential Reading:

Living Hope Evangelical Fellowship Statement of Excommunication

Dr. John MacArthur's Statement on Ezzo and Grace Community Church

"More Than A Parenting Ministry" | PDF Version
by Kathleen Terner and Elliott Miller, Christian Research Journal, Christian Research Institute

"A Matter of Bias?" | PDF Version
by Kathleen Terner and Elliott Miller, Christian Research Journal, Christian Research Institute

"Unprepared to Teach Parenting"
by Kathleen Terner, Christianity Today

"Adventures in Ezzoland"
by Frank York, Midwest Christian Outreach

"Q & A With Gary Ezzo"
by Kelly Griffith, Bradenton Herald

Timeline of the Ezzo Controversy
Documentation linked in timeline format

Designed for Relationship

Infants' Brain Structures and Chemistry Respond to Nurture and Stress

A Marriage and Family Therapist grapples with the implications of these discoveries.

About the Author

Nancy Williams, MA, MFT, CCE, IBCLC, is the Executive Director of the Pregnancy Support Services of Lompoc and Buellton, CA. She is an instructor in the Psychology Department at Chapman University and is a consultant for CareNet. She speaks around the country at professional and family conferences relating to perinatal issues. Nancy is also a Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice and enjoys travelling overseas to do volunteer counseling. Nancy and her husband have three children and 3 grandchildren.

by Nancy Williams, MA, MFT, CCE, IBCLC

Once upon a time, the study of infants was relegated to observation and interpretation. This fostered very subjective theory with little hard evidence to support or deny it. 

Important New Research

All of this has changed in the last two decades with the advent of new technologies, such as PET scans, Functional MRIs and new ways to measure and assess the chemical functioning of individuals.  How amazing that we can actually “peek in” to a fetal or infant brain and watch it grow and function right before our eyes!  The new information is critically important for parents and for professionals who work with or teach parents. 

To ignore current research may be perilous-- to babies and their lives as adults; to the parents who stand to either gain or lose much as a result of parenting style, and to our society as a whole.  Our society seems to be slipping into deeper and deeper relational turmoil.  Perhaps some of this turmoil can be traced to parenting styles that have become increasingly disconnected and control-oriented.

A Warning - This Information Can Be Sensitive

Warning: some of this information may be disturbing.  As I came to understand some of the mistakes I’d made with my own children and in my teaching, many negative emotions stirred within me: confusion, disappointment, pain, anger, frustration, and sadness.  I’ve come to believe that these feelings make it difficult to receive new information that is threatening in the most meaningful parts of us—our parental role, our own childhood experiences, and our ministry.

This doesn’t stop with the individual. As a culture, we have unthinkingly adopted expectations about our babies and children that may be mistaken.

Romans tells us that God reveals himself to us through the creation. The more I learn about the human body and its amazing function, the more I am in awe about who God is and how incredibly he has designed us. The design has purpose; it isn’t random. We get into trouble every time we try to ignore it or think that we’ve got a better plan.

Neurons & Synapses: Ready and Waiting

We now know that a baby has virtually all his or her neurons (brain cells) in place by eighteen weeks gestation, all 180 billion of them. But that is not the whole story by any means. The baby will need to develop a rich synaptic network over the next three-plus years. Synapses are the important connections that send messages between neurons through chemicals known as neurotransmitters. Without synapses, the neurons would be much like cell phones with no service. The number of synapses doubles between eighteen and twenty-eight weeks of pregnancy, again by birth at around forty weeks of pregnancy, and yet again by the time the baby is eight months old.  Sadly, this incredible rate of development will be short-circuited without the proper environment.

What, exactly, is the proper environment? Most people know it is important to protect the child from harm; to avoid toxins such as nicotine, alcohol, and other drugs; to seek good healthcare, and so forth. But what of psychological/emotional/spiritual danger?

Stress Hormones Rewire Synapses

Of course, the environment after birth needs to continue to protect the child from harm and toxins. One often unrecognized toxin results from stress. As little as ten minutes of crying alone causes baby’s blood oxygenation to decrease, blood pressure to rise, stress hormones to release, and even tiny brain bleeds to occur. When this occurs regularly, it actually rewires the baby’s brain to become anxious, depressed, and/or to experience other unhealthy states. Cortisol, one of the stress hormones, actually washes over the baby’s brain as a toxic coating, influencing dysfunctional development of synapses. The notion that crying is good for babies or even that it is not harmful has been unequivocally proven wrong.

A Mother's Body: Protecting Baby Before and After Birth

We also know that the mother’s body continues to provide the necessary environment, even long after the birth is accomplished. Breastfeeding is often considered simply a “lifestyle choice.” Instead it is what God intended as the experience for a child in the early years. It is also God’s provision for a lifetime of health. We must recognize that any other “choice,” even when necessary because of difficult circumstances, will be inferior, because we can’t improve on God’s plan.

It is not within the scope of this article to discuss the crucial nature and exquisite design of both the milk and the mother-baby relationship inherent in breastfeeding. Suffice it to say that there are many detrimental consequences to both mother and baby when breastfeeding can’t or doesn’t occur. People are sometimes known to lament that while it would be great to promote breastfeeding, it just isn’t practical with the lifestyle/career/family size or other demands that life creates. Perhaps this demands a second look.

Another critical environmental component is that of attachment and bonding.  Attachment is so important that many therapists refer to it as the “foundation for mental health.” Lack of a secure attachment in the first three years cannot be easily corrected later, and it can be partly responsible part for all kinds of problems, from depression and bi-polar disorder to unhealthy choices in mates, inability to parent, even to poor sexual choices and abortion decisions, and difficulty experiencing intimacy with God.

Fostering Relational Ability

Babies are born hard-wired for relationship and searching for an object of attachment. In order for attachment and bonding to proceed normally, the mother and baby need a great deal of eye-to-eye and skin-to-skin contact. They need to be near one with with attention focused on one another. By definition, healthy attachment and bonding cannot occur if the mother and the baby are not together. Just as God is Immanuel, meaning “the God who is with us," so a mother offers the first loving relationship to her baby by her continuous presence. A close attachment also helps the mother to be more secure in her new role and reduces the risk of abuse and abandonment.

One of the things that sets human beings apart from animals is that we are designed first and foremost for relationship. We reflect the image of God—the God who is first and foremost relational. Therefore, relational ability must be fostered from the beginning. The constant presence and touch of the mother as she carries, strokes, and comforts form a critical component that helps the baby to learn how to regulate his or her own emotions. This ability is the cornerstone of thoughtful decisions and the ability to experience emotional intimacy later.

Current Research on How Self-Regulation is Learned

The Ezzos’ material addresses the issue of self-regulation, but in a way that is absolutely contradictory to current research. The research shows that this skill is learned by the parent(s) soothing the baby and lowering his or her biophysical reactions to stress such as higher blood pressure and cortisol release. At the same time, the parent is modeling how to do that. The Ezzos suggest that if you just put a baby down and let him scream, he will learn to soothe himself. But how? The current information tells us that he will merely give up, withdraw, and move towards a state of chronic anxiety and/or depression. This may look like “success” on the outside, while inside he is suffering emotionally.

Many of our cultural attitudes about pregnancy, birth, and parenting have roots in radical, secular feminism. Feminism looks at the desires of the woman and then tries to fit everything else into that framework. This is the foundation thought that allows abortion.  A biblical approach to anything relational would ask first, “What is best for the other person?” and then try to fit one’s own needs around that. This approach is even more important when caring for someone who is utterly dependent on me, such as a fetus or infant.

Unfortunately, the North American church has unwittingly swallowed humanist frameworks hook, line, and sinker. This is more evident in the area of mothering than in any other. The most “me-centered” advice and curricula I have been exposed to have come from “Christian” teaching and books. The Ezzo books aren’t alone in this criticism, but they certainly stand out. Perhaps we need to rethink biblical principles vs. culture and make some course corrections.

We now have a large body of research about the first years after birth. It is remarkable that this new information, while culturally and politically incorrect, is a perfect fit with the God of love and grace that we know. It is up to us to apply this knowledge from both the Bible and creation to our parenting decisions.

Bibliography

Caplan, Mariana, Untouched: The Need for Genuine Affection in an Impersonal World, 1998, Hohm Press, Prescott

Clinton, Tim and Sibcy, Gary, Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do: Unlock the Secret to Loving and Lasting Relationships, 2002, Integrity Publishers, Brentwood

Fox, Stuart Ira, Human Physiology, 4th ed., 1993, William C. Brown Publishers, Dubuque, Iowa, pp., 176-178, 264.

Henderson JJ, Evans SF, Straton JA, Priest SR, Hagan R (2003). Impact of postnatal depression on breastfeeding duration. Birth, 30(3), 175-180: "Early cessation of breastfeeding was…significantly associated with postnatal depression…Onset of PND occurred before cessation of breastfeeding in most cases."

Holger J. Sørensen, M.D., Ph.D., Erik L. Mortensen, June M. Reinisch, Ph.D. and Sarnoff A. Mednick, Ph.D., Dr.Med.Sci. ,Early Weaning and Hospitalization With Alcohol-Related Diagnoses in Adult Life “,American Journal of Psychiatry 163:704-709, April 2006 doi: 10.1176/appi.ajp.163.4.704

Hunter, Brenda, The Power of Mother Love  1997, Waterbrook Press, Colorado Springs

Karen, Robert, Becoming Attached, 1994, Warner Books, Inc., New York

Karr-Morse, R. and Wiley, M., Ghosts from the Nursery, 1997, Atlantic Monthly Press, New York

Klaus, M. H., Kennell, J. H., and Klaus, P.H., Bonding: Building the Foundations of Secure Attachment and Independence, Addison-Wesley Publishing Co.

La Leche League, International, The Breastfeeding Answer Book, Third ed., 2003, Schaumberg

Lawrence, Ruth A., Breastfeeding: A Guide for the Medical Profession, Mosby-Yearbook, Inc., 1999

Lewis, T. et al, A General Theory of Love, 2001, Random House, New York

Maki, Pirjo, “Parental separation at birth and maternal depressed mood in pregnancy: associations with schizophrenia and criminality in the offspring”, Department of Psychiatry and Department of Public Health Science and General Practice, University of Oulu

McGoldrick, Monica, “The Ache for Home”, Family Networker, Vol. 18, No. 4, 1994

Odent, Michel, The Scientification of Love, 2001, Free Association Books, London

Odent, Michel, Birth and Breastfeeding, 2003, Greenwood Publishing

Porter, Lauren, “The Science of Attachment: The Biological Roots of Love”
Mothering, Issue 119, July/August 2003

Sears, William MD and Martha, The Attachment Parenting Book:  A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby, 2001, Little, Brown and Company

Small, Meredith F., Our Babies, Ourselves, 1998, Random House, New York

Small, Meredith F., ”What you can learn from drunk monkeys”, DISCOVER, Vol. 23 No. 7, July 2002 )

Taveras EM, et al.  (2003). Clinician support and psychosocial risk factors associated with breastfeeding discontinuation. Pediatrics, 112(1 Pt 1), 108-115: "Breastfeeding discontinuation at 12 weeks was also
associated with… maternal depressive symptoms."

Walker, Marsha, “Summary of the Hazards of Infant Formula”, International Lactation Consultant Association, 1992

Walker, Marsha, “Summary of the Hazards of Infant Formula, Part 2”, International Lactation Consultant Association, 1998

Walker, Marsha, “Summary of the Hazards of Infant Formula, Monograph 3”, International Lactation Consultant Association, 2004

Williams, Nancy, “Maternal Psychological Issues in the Experience of Breastfeeding”, Journal of Human Lactation, 13(1), 1997

http://www.biosynthesis.org/html/allan_schore.html

  • Professionals Say
  • Signs of Hunger
  • Recent Research
  • A Mom Says

Rosemary Shy, MD , FAAP
Director, Children's Choice of Michigan Ambulatory Pediatrics
Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, Wayne State University, Children's Hospital of Michigan, Detroit, Mich

"It is dangerous to do it the way he describes," Pediatrician Dr. Rosemary Shy says of Ezzo's technique. "It puts these babies at risk for jaundice, at risk for dehydration, and at risk for failing to thrive, all of which we’ve seen." -- Wilson, Steve, "Baby Care Controversy," WXYZ-Detroit, November 14, 2004

 

Arnold Tanis, MD, FAAP
1999 recipient, John H. Whitcomb Outstanding Pediatrician Award, presented by the Florida Pediatric Society and the Florida Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)

"There is no scientific basis whatsoever in their philosophy....It is contrary to what nature intended.

Read More

Watch Your Baby's Signs of Hunger

Although Babywise says to feed a hungry baby, it usually instructs parents to observe a time interval between feedings, or a certain order of events, such as only feeding the baby after she wakes up. There's another way to tell that your baby is hungry. You can watch your baby for her own signs of hunger.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends watching for the following early signs or cues by which your baby lets you know when she's hungry.

  • Small movements as she starts to awaken
  • Whimpering or lip-smacking
  • Pulling up arms or legs toward her middle
  • Stretching or yawning
  • Waking and looking alert
  • Putting hands toward her mouth
  • Making sucking motions
  • Moving
Read More

Maternal use of parent led routines associated with short breastfeeding duration.

Published Feb 12, 2014
Brown A, Arnott B (2014) Breastfeeding Duration and Early Parenting Behaviour: The Importance of an Infant-Led, Responsive Style. PLoS ONE 9(2): e83893. DOI: 10.1371/journal.pone.0083893

"Results: Formula use at birth or short breastfeeding duration were significantly associated with low levels of nurturance, high levels of reported anxiety and increased maternal use of Parent-led routines . Conversely an infant-led approach characterised by responding to and following infant cues was associated with longer breastfeeding duration."

Raising Emotionally Healthy Children - 2014 Video

This KET Special Report looks at the importance of social and emotional development in the first years of life, featuring experts on infant and child development in Kentucky.

Read More
Our first child was born in the summer of 09, and I promptly began trying to apply the Babywise method. The book had been highly recommended by a distant relative, and promised structure and sanity amidst the exhaustion and upheaval I felt as a new mother. However, our baby did not respond the way the book promised he would if we followed the schedule. All my attempts to adhere to the book led to deep frustration, arguments with my husband (who knew better than to let a book dictate our newborn's schedule), feeling like a failure, and the worst--resentment of my infant. Why couldn't he sleep and eat like the book said he should be doing? The Ezzos presented their arguments as infallible.
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Babywise and Preparation for Parenting

Free downloadable parent education brochure

research-based answers
print and share with your pediatrician
leave some with your health department
Give one to your pastor or Christian ed department

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Key Documentation

LIVING HOPE EVANGELICAL FELLOWSHIP:
Excommunication Statement

GRACE COMMUNITY CHURCH:
Statement about Ezzo - Materials

GRACE COMMUNITY CHURCH:
Statement about Ezzo - Character

CHRISTIAN RESEARCH INSTITUTE:
"The Cultic Characteristics of Growing Families International"
(originally titled "More than a Parenting Ministry")

CHRISTIAN RESEARCH INSTITUTE:
"GFI"
(orginally titled "A Matter of Bias?")

CHRISTIANITY TODAY:
Unprepared to Teach Parenting?

CHRISTIANITY TODAY:
Babywise Publisher Plans Contract Cancellation

AMERICAN ACADEMY of PEDIATRICS:
Media Alert