Pastoral Concerns about the use of Ezzo Parenting Materials

Pastors and church members have reported dynamics that have been unhealthy or divisive within congregations where materials from GFI have been used. One pastor observed that in his church, the programs bred dependency, "It was now "What does Gary say?" about all child-rearing stuff." Another pastor agreed, "When I unleashed GKGW on our church in Florida, we got our own set of "zombies" as well." Numerous prominent Christian leaders have voiced concerns.

Another common complaint is that Ezzo's fervent presentation blurs the line between what is optional and what is biblically commanded. When missionaries take the teachings abroad with the intention of imparting parenting skills along with Christianity, they may confuse, offend or alienate the very people they hope to introduce to Christianity. The material makes Western ethnocentric assumptions, from general concepts about relationships and time management to particulars about cribs and playpens.

Parents who decide the classes aren't a good fit or find themselves in disagreement are sometimes viewed negatively. The material itself contains negative cues about how to view families who are not following Ezzo's ideas, for example suggesting they are less committed to glorifying God in their family life or that their children's behavior will not win neighbors to Christ.

Philip Johnson, who was an elder at Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, California when Ezzo was on staff summarizes,

"On this [divisiveness] and other, even more serious matters of personal integrity, Gary has been confronted repeatedly by people to whom he should be accountable, and his consistent response has been to move out from under the accountability of anyone who challenges him—then treat all his critics as enemies. This is a long-standing pattern which in my view disqualifies him from the kind of public ministry he is doing."

Questions of authenticity arise since the Ezzos have portrayed friendship with one's adult children as the goal and result of following their methods, but their own adult children cut off contact with them several years ago.

Other concerns that surround parenting programs from Growing Families International are catalogued elsewhere on this site: substandard medical information in the baby materials, ignorance of basic child development issues throughout all the baby and child materials, a manipulative and divisive style of teaching, biblical & theological concerns, and character concerns about the authors.

There are many other parenting books and programs available to churches which don't come front-loaded with such controversy and problems.

For Further Reading:

One Church's Review Process
a church reevaluated sponsering GFI classes

Christian Leaders and Organizations
that have voiced concerns

Growing Kids the Ezzo Way
Dr. Philip Ryken, 10th Presbyterian Church, cautions his congregation

Another Church's Elder Statement on GFI
Berean Calvary Chapel's statement

An Open Letter to Pastors
Frank York, past editorial director at GFI, presents concerns to pastors

Information about Growing Kids God's Way Movement
Northwest Bible Church of OKC publishes a concise summary of concerns

Focus on the Family Statement

Growing Kids God's Way -- Not Ezzo's
Thoughtful commentary from a Baptist pastor

Dr. John MacArthur's Statement on Ezzo and Grace Community Church

Living Hope Evangelical Fellowship Statement of Excommunication

Christian Leaders & Organizations Voice Concerns About Ezzo Programs

The following is a partial list of Christian leaders and organizations that have publicly stated their concerns about the Ezzos and/or their parenting curricula.

Dr. James Dobson, President, Focus on the Family, Radio Broadcast August 25, 1999: in response to on-air question. Focus on the Family Transcript of Dobson's Remarks

Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, authors of Boundaries, Boundaries with Kids, Raising Great Kids, and others.

Dr. Kevin Leman, author: written statement to inquirers.

Steven Arterburn, founder of New Life Ministries, response to questions on New Life radio show.

Father Val. J. Peter, Executive Director, Boys Town, Nebraska: letter to Our Sunday Visitor, April 1998.

Rev. Chuck Smith, founder of the Calvary Chapel movement and host of The Word for Today radio program; commentary on radio broadcast of "To Every Man an Answer", January 9, 1998, September 21, 1998.

Dr. Ralph Winter, founder of the US Center for World Mission

Dr. Philip Ryken, author and senior pastor, Tenth Presbyterian Church, Philadelphia: article at http://www.tenth.org/wowdir/wow1998-04-05.htm

Dr. John MacArthur, pastor-teacher, Grace Community Church: Public Statement about character issues and the Ezzos' excommunication from Living Hope Evangelical Fellowship, July 25, 2000
Macarthur Comments on Excommunication

Dr. Tedd Tripp, author of Shepherding Your Child's Heart: internet comment

Dr. Randy Carlson, President, Family Life Communications, response to questions on Parent Talk radio show, January, 2002

Dr. Grace Ketterman, psychiatrist and author: cited in Terner and Miller, April-June 1998, listed above.

Dr. Brenda Hunter, author, comments in her book, The Power of Mother Love

Kevin A. Miller, editorial director, Christian Parenting Today magazine, November 2, 1998

Hank Hanegraaff, president, Christian Research Institute: commentary on radio broadcast of The Bible Answer Man, July 28, 1998, October 6, 1998, October 8-9, 1998, October 26, 1998, October 27, 1998, March 25-26, 1999.

Phil Johnson, elder, Grace Community Church and executive director, Grace to You radio broadcast: "Questions about Growing Families International, Grace Church, and Gary Ezzo," December 11, 1997. (A follow-up to the October 16, 1997 Grace Community Church Elders' Statement.) Also, a written response to questions about Grace Community Church's Statement dated December 11, 1997 is available at:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppezzo/?msg=3231.14

Rich Buhler, radio pastor and counselor: commentary on radio broadcast.

Kathy Eshleman, wife of the director of the Jesus Film Project of Campus Crusade for Christ: letter of concern, July 18, 1997.

Barbara Curtis, author, The Mommy Manual; Ready, Set, Read and other books: "Whose Way, After All?" June 16, 1996. http://www.fix.net/~rprewett/curtis.html

Rev. Doug Haag, pastor of family ministries, Evangelical Free Church, Fullerton (California): theological review in "Religious Parenting Programs: Their relationship to Child Abuse Prevention," presented by the Child Abuse Prevention Council of Orange County Parenting Program Review Committee.

Cynthia Henseler, Minister to the Family, at the 15,000-worshipper Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, pastored by Rick Warren.

Dr. Clifford Penner, psychologist and author: cited in "The Brave New Baby," by Thomas Giles, Christianity Today, August 16, 1993.  Brave New Baby

Rev. Marvin Warman, Mdiv, MFCC and Joyce Warman, Warm an' Loving Ministries: letter of concern, October 28, 1997. Rev. and Mrs. Warman teach pre-marital courses at Lake Avenue Congregational Church and lead marriage seminars throughout the United States.

Kathy Nesper, president, Apple Tree Family Ministries: cited in "A Matter of Bias? Examining the Response of Growing Families International to Criticism," by Kathleen Terner and Elliot Miller, Christian Research Journal, October-December 1998, pp. 32-42.
http://www.equip.org/free/DG234.htm

Rick McKinley, senior pastor, Imago Dei Community (influential post-modern church in Portland OR): Father's Day sermon 2007
http://imagodeicommunity.com/sermon/fathers-day

Bob Bixby, pastor, Morning Star Baptist Church, blog post in 2006 and 2010
Growing Kids God's Way, Not Ezzo's (1) and Growing Kids God's Way, Not Ezzo's (2)

Organizations

United Methodist Church--General Board of Discipleship: the board reviewed the material and will recommend that they not be used.

Focus on the Family: letter of concern regarding GFI, original letter 1993 with revisions at varying intervals. Although the wording of Focus on the Family's letter has varied, the organization has consistently stated that it does not recommend GFI's materials to its constituents.
Focus on the Family Letter of Concern

CareNet, umbrella organization for crisis pregnancy centers: letter to affiliated centers, December 1996.

Grace Community Church: "A Statement Regarding Gary Ezzo and Growing Families International by the board of elders of Grace Community Church." Gary Ezzo developed his materials while a staff member at Grace. The church has publicly disavowed all association with GFI. Original statement issued October 16, 1997: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppezzo/?msg=3231.6
Revised version: A Statement Regarding Gary Ezzo and Growing Families International

Living Hope Evangelical Fellowship: Elder's Statement Regarding Gary Ezzo's Church Discipline, Granada Hills, California. Public statement about character issues and the Ezzos' excommunication from Living Hope Evangelical Fellowship, Nov, 2000.

Focus on the Family Transcript