Concerns about Divisiveness in Babywise and Growing Kids God's Way

Critics say Ezzo's presentation in Babywise and Growing Kids God's Way and other material is manipulative and that it can cause divisions in churches, friendships and families.

• False picture of choices. Ezzo writes as though parents have only two choices: his approach, which produces ease for parents and obedient, respectful children, or a descent into family "chaos" and disobedient, ungodly offspring through the use of alternatives to his ideas. These outcomes are illustrated by descriptions of the flourishing or downfall of two fictitious children. Evidence is missing to prove either illustration. Critics claim that Ezzo's illustrations are "straw men" and misrepresent alternatives to his approach.
  
  
• Insults parents who hold other views. Ezzo teaches a variety of insulting things to his followers about parents who don't follow his teaching: they are "in their thinking, [only] Christian up to a point," they are naive, they frequently fail to notice when their babies are sick, they respond to their babies' cries without rational consideration of why the baby is crying, their children never learn to accept delayed gratification and eventually shoplift and push other children off swings, and their children are academically disadvantaged.
  
  
• Insults health care professionals. The book says that health care providers who don't support Babywise are not up-to-date enough to grasp Babywise's breastfeeding benefits, or are biased because of their professional training (2001, p. 100).
  
  
• Rhetoric that plays on fear, shame and guilt. The material plays on fears of sleepless nights and unmanageable children, shaming parents for not seeking "God's way," and creating guilt when they face challenges most parents recognize as normal stages of child development and parenting. As parents absorb and then reflect these messages to their friends and church community, it alienates them.
  
  
• Double messages and shifting definitions from page to page make for confusion over basic principles and how they are meant to be implemented and make it possible to refute any criticism simply by quoting whichever side of the double message will serve the purpose. Communication that might resolve divisions seems frequently to come to a stand-off.
  
  
• An us/them world. The false choices mentioned above (either parent the Ezzo's way or descend into chaos) are sometimes taken to another level where one is either an insider who is part of the GFI community or not. The GFI "community" is believed to be persecuted and misunderstood by those outside the "community" because of their higher commitment.
  
  
• Questioning the information is not encouraged. To disagree or even to openly question Ezzo's material arouses suspicion that one is disloyal and not really committed to "God's way" of parenting. Class leaders are encouraged not to allow open disagreement during classtime. This often leaves participants who have questions isolated and prevents their peers from hearing any concerns about the material.

The end result is often parents who are committed to the material as the only right way to parent without correctly understanding other views and other parenting techniques practiced within the Christian community. This, in turn, leads to division as the wisdom of grandparents and other experienced parents is ignored and sometimes even shunned, and as fellow Christians are treated as less godly because of parenting differences.

Essential Reading:

"Growing Kids God's Way?: A Critique of Growing Families International"
by Dr. Barbara Francis

"More Than A Parenting Ministry" | PDF version
by Kathleen Terner and Elliott Miller, Christian Research Journal, Christian Research Institute

On Becoming Childwise: A Critique
by Laurie Moody

Conflicting Messages--A Review of Babywise 2001
by Kathy Thile

It's One or the Other--And Other Myths that Hooked Us
A Parent's Insights

For Further Information:

More Critiques, Reviews and Analyses