FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)

I'm aware of the controversy and some of the reasons for it, but my church just announced they are starting GFI classes soon. How do I approach my church leadership about this?
I think that a person with a reasonable amount of common sense can sift through Babywise and apply the parts that make sense in a reasonable and flexible manner. Isn't that how anyone would approach any parenting book?
But I'm nervous about how this new baby will impact our life and Babywise sounds so good!
Why is this website so unbalanced? Aren't you just biased by your own parenting preferences?
Why is this website named www.ezzo.info if this is not a pro-GFI website?

Q. I'm aware of the controversy and some of the reasons for it, but my church just announced they are starting GFI classes soon. How do I approach my church leadership about this?

A. Others in your situation have found that their church leaders were either unaware of the controversy or had dismissed concerns in favor of trusting the Ezzos' explanation. Some respectful dialogue may help in either case. If they are simply unaware, you can bring them a selection of items you hope they'll consider (keeping in mind that a huge stack of articles and documents might be overwhelming!)

If they have dismissed or glossed over concerns in the past, you can respectfully ask that they respond to this information you're giving them. A closer look may be just what's needed.

In some cases, church leaders strongly identify with the Ezzos' ideas and simply believe the explanations the Ezzos offer regarding critics and criticism. Therefore, they believe that they will find no merit in any evidence you could offer. In this situation it's disturbing to realize they have chosen to believe the Ezzos over a host of credible, reputable Christian leaders who have voiced concerns.
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Q. I think that a person with a reasonable amount of common sense can sift through Babywise and apply the parts that make sense in a reasonable and flexible manner. Isn't that how anyone would approach any parenting book?

A. Yes, a discerning reader should be able to identify good points vs. troubling ones. But this material is written in such a way as to intentionally bias the reader and keep them from exploring other ideas and approaches.

For example, the authors' own ideas are often presented after a lengthy—and
often inaccurate—negative portrayal of other ideas. (The fictional example babies, Ryan and Stevie from Preparation for Parenting, and Chelsea and Marissa from Babywise are a good example.) This predisposes the reader to be alarmed about other philosophies, and to accept that of BabyWise. Some parenting books are written in a style by which it is understood that parents will select wht works for their individual children and situations. Ezzo makes it pretty clear that his method is to be taken as a whole and that straying from his method produces serious problems.

Please be aware that many former users of Babywise (and Preparation for Parenting--the church-based counterpart) believed and told people that they were tempering their use of the method with common sense and flexibility. But many look back on the experience and say, "Now that I am a more experienced parent, I realize I was far too wrapped up in doing things by the book. I measured my success as a parent and my baby's progress by how well we lined up with the book. I should have relaxed and enjoyed my baby."

As to simply choosing the good parts, Babywise's key recommendations spring from faulty premises. And if you're avoiding the key recommendations, why bother with the book at all? The good advice in Babywise can be found elsewhere; the unique aspects are not good--for either parents or babies.

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Q. But I'm nervous about how this new baby will impact our life and Babywise sounds so good!

A. Babywise and it's church-based counterpart, Preparation for Parenting, promote a one-size-fits-all set of parent-centered rules for sleep, feedings, and wake time. Contrary to their claims, these precepts are potentially unhealthy for the child, and leave parents focused on the clock, the rules, and the book, rather than on what their individual baby needs in order to grow and develop physically and emotionally.

Healthy parenting is responding to your baby, meeting your baby's needs, in a way your intuition tells you is right. A high-touch, attentive approach to parenting is enjoyable because it builds both confident parents and loving, sensitive, and connected kids. [Answer adapted from the tri-fold brochure "Intrigued by the claims of Babywise?"]

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Q. Why is this website so unbalanced? Aren't you just biased by your own parenting preferences?

A. Critics of Ezzo and the authors of the materials in this collection parent in a variety of ways and in many cases have considerable expertise and recognition in various disciplines that Ezzo attempts to address but without training and expertise. We hope you will evaluate the information based on whether it is logical, fair and accurate.

(You may notice that Ezzo himself often devalues critics in advance as hopelessly biased rather than responding to the substance of the concerns--it is an inadequate way to evaluate and address concerns.)

As to balance, we have provided a link to Ezzo's company, Growing Families International. Outside that, and some personal testimonies on the web, it is difficult to find articles in support of the Ezzos and their method.

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